saudade.

city lights cascade the night,

strong aromas of booze savor

the winds as they drift away-

but soon, they resurrect

from our breath- our mouths

vials of liquid poisons-

parties behind alleys,

bleached blonde brows,

cat eyes, glitter streaks,

studded boots, and sweat

like moisturizer glossing each face-

raves in backyards,

flashing strobe lights,

a rainbow collecting souls,

and we dissect, into rows

of ultraviolet rays-

there’s a boy, lit in indigo-

he reminds me of him.

his manners reminiscent-

and in a dance, bodies

syncing like waves,

i meet him.

his kiss on my lips,

press a secret-

he confesses he’s lonely

and has lost his way-

i tell him- i feel the same.

and in silent agreement,

we proclaim, affection for a night,

is all we need to quench

the thirsts of yearning.

and we, ring out lust

in a stranger’s home.

in the heat of the moment,

i remember he is a mystery too,

and our names, pseudonyms,

hide our shame.

broken for different reasons,

we align, before we separate,

and once again, we search for the next wilting leaf

trying to turn a night into sufficiency.

and i, in my chaos, plant myself in misery-

i have failed again.

at my best, i’d declare tonight is the finale-

and with the strength of goliath,

move forward- but i have not

yet dodged that stone.

the night is my mistress,

and my vulnerability feeds

off the convenience of our infidelity.

so my eyes wander-

they contemplate escape-

but when the lights return,

blue chooses my face-

and once again, so does his.